My child gambles
This information is for parents and/or guardians of a child with a gambling problem. Do you recognize yourself in any of these situations?
- You have discovered that your child is gambling.
- Your child gambles and you are unsure whether this is a problem.
- You see (large) amounts being withdrawn from your child’s account by gambling companies and/or gaming websites.
- Your child will not allow you to view his/her bank account.
- Your child regularly lies about his or her gambling.
- Your child is gambling again.
How Do I Ensure My Child Receives Help?
Has your child lost control over gambling? Then he or she needs help. Quitting on one’s own is difficult. Help your child seek support. There are many forms of help: from online support to more intensive therapy (sometimes with medication). There is also help specifically aimed at young people. Many addiction care providers have a youth department. As a parent of someone who gambles, you can also turn to these services for support. For example, you can attend special information evenings.
Your child’s brain
Tips for parents and/or guardians
- State the consequences: discuss with your child the long-term consequences of gambling. Explain that gambling may seem to have appealing benefits, but it can lead to problematic outcomes.
- Stay involved: it is important to show your child that you are engaged, so there is an open atmosphere in which your child can share what he/she is experiencing.
- Provide structure and boundaries: if you notice your child is struggling with (new) freedoms, such as managing their own money, offer more guidance and help your child learn to handle this.
- Talk with your child about his/her gambling.
– Indicate that it will not be an easy conversation.
– Ensure an open conversation.
– Listen carefully to your child.
– Do not judge your child.
– Try to understand your child.
– State that you want to help.
– Say that you care about him/her and that you are worried.
– Make sure it does not turn into a yes-no argument. - Set clear rules about gambling.
- Give sincere compliments for things that are going well.
- Set a good example: children learn a lot by observing the behavior of those around them. That is why it is important that you, as a parent, set a positive example for your child.
- Encourage independence: it can be challenging when your child seeks more independence. This is part of healthy development. As a parent, it is important to provide an environment in which your child feels safe to discuss things. That helps you stay connected, even as your child becomes more independent.
- Be clear: explain clearly why you consider a particular rule important. As children get older, they better understand which rules are ‘logical.’ An explanation like “You may not gamble because I do not want you to” is often not sufficient for a young adult. A well-reasoned explanation helps rules be better understood and accepted.
Is your child already experiencing gambling problems?
- Set a time limit for internet use.
- Block access to gambling websites. There is software for this, such as Gamban.
- Do not give money and never pay off debts. By giving money and/or paying off debts, you may create problems for yourself. It can also cause your child to continue gambling.
- Register your child in Cruks: if you notice that stopping gambling remains difficult for your child, you can help by requesting a gambling stop. You can then register your child in Cruks, so he or she no longer has access to legal gambling venues and gambling websites in the Netherlands.
When you see your child is doing better, you can gradually allow more freedoms.
Want more information about your child’s gambling?
Take the test together with your child and find out together what his or her playing behavior is.