What started as something small and innocent – just something to escape boredom – slowly turned into an addiction. When Roos finally found the courage to talk about her behaviour, it made room for emotions that had been suppressed for a long time. “It was a relief to get it out, but I also felt sad and ashamed.”
The road to recovery wasn’t easy. Roos had three relapses. “The support I sought wasn’t enough. And I wasn’t fully committed to stopping.” Only when she truly opened up to treatment, things began to change. A key moment was when she met others who had been through the same. “Recognizing my own story in others helped me a lot during treatment”. One of the most confronting but healing parts of recovery was hearing how her gambling had hurt her loved ones. “I had to listen to ‘impact letters’ from my boyfriend and my father… It turned out I had closed myself off from the pain that was coming.”
Today, Roos remains clean and shares her story with others, including in the form of a book. “I’m writing a book about women and addiction.” What helps her now is living in honesty and connection – with herself and with others. “Quitting gambling is the ultimate form of being kind to yourself. A life without gambling brings connection with my boyfriend. There are no more secrets between us.”
Finally, she has a message for everyone still living in the shadows: “There are plenty of skilled and kind people who can help you, a world opens up for you. (…) And I wish that for everyone.”
